JMJ
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We are about to begin the ninth week of classes out of our ten week quarter, thus it is once again time to begin more intensive preparations for finals. However, in an attempt to remember the joy and leisure of true study I wish to share a few insights that I have gained through study in my life (some taken from Ironic Catholic, enjoy):
INSIGHT #1
Why Religion Is Better than Beer:
* Too much religion does not induce vomiting.
* Jesus is free; beer starts at $2.50 a six-pack.
* Religion has a lot fewer calories.
* Holy water doesn't affect your sense of balance.
* How many fistfights do you see in a church?
* Religion won't give you a hangover.
* Your spouse won't complain that your breath stinks of religion.
* You can have as much religion as you like, and still drive home later.
* Your religion won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
* You can shake up your religion, and it won't explode.
* You don't have to get your stomach pumped for overdosing on religion.
* The day after going to church, you can remember everything that happened.
* You don't have to worry about getting religion stains on your clothes.
* Saying "Oh, God!" is much more fun in church than kneeling over the toilet.
* The police won't arrest you for accepting Jesus under age.
* It's okay to drive and be open to Jesus.
* Jesus was crucified for our sins -- beer is just pasteurized.
* Jesus comes in a handy one-pack.
* Jesus is who you need in emergencies -- beer often causes emergencies.
* Try driving a nail through a can of beer and see what happens.
* Beer just doesn't have the same after-sales service that you get from religion.
* Too much religion won't kill you, Perhaps just the opposite!
INSIGHT #2
Wine is helpful when taken from a medieval German perspective
*Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep, and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.
INSIGHT #3
G.K. Chesterton wisdom
*We should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking to much of them.
INSIGHT #4
Root Beer
*Enough said!
INSIGHT #1
Why Religion Is Better than Beer:* Too much religion does not induce vomiting.
* Jesus is free; beer starts at $2.50 a six-pack.
* Religion has a lot fewer calories.
* Holy water doesn't affect your sense of balance.
* How many fistfights do you see in a church?
* Religion won't give you a hangover.
* Your spouse won't complain that your breath stinks of religion.
* You can have as much religion as you like, and still drive home later.
* Your religion won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
* You can shake up your religion, and it won't explode.
* You don't have to get your stomach pumped for overdosing on religion.
* The day after going to church, you can remember everything that happened.
* You don't have to worry about getting religion stains on your clothes.
* Saying "Oh, God!" is much more fun in church than kneeling over the toilet.
* The police won't arrest you for accepting Jesus under age.
* It's okay to drive and be open to Jesus.
* Jesus was crucified for our sins -- beer is just pasteurized.
* Jesus comes in a handy one-pack.
* Jesus is who you need in emergencies -- beer often causes emergencies.
* Try driving a nail through a can of beer and see what happens.
* Beer just doesn't have the same after-sales service that you get from religion.
* Too much religion won't kill you, Perhaps just the opposite!
INSIGHT #2
Wine is helpful when taken from a medieval German perspective
*Drink wine, and you will sleep well. Sleep, and you will not sin. Avoid sin, and you will be saved. Ergo, drink wine and be saved.
INSIGHT #3
G.K. Chesterton wisdom
*We should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking to much of them.
INSIGHT #4
Root Beer
*Enough said!
2 comments:
Nice to discover your blog! Enjoyed the religion & beer humor!
Sounds like your early months in seminary are going well. Imagine choir lends itself to interesting experiences!
We're keeping up with Erin this fall through her blog emkearney.blogspot.com - she's in Ireland for the semester.
Will bookmark your blog & check in every once-in-a-while!
Take care & say hello to your folks!
In the spirit of true snarkiness, I parry your points and counter-thrust with my own:
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
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